The Tragedy of Kagome Higarashi
by Anonymous Void
Summary: IYGW crossover. Kagome falls in love with the wrong people who wish to have nothing to do with her. Will she succeed at finding her one true love?


Author's Note: I have noticed a countless amount of crossover fics involving a character from the anime'manga Inu Yasha called Kagome going to some other anime/manga and falling in love with one of the main characters there. Something I have also noticed is the fact that nobody has taken the opportunity to make fun of this. I guess I'll have to do it then. My only problem with such fics is the fact that there are one too many of them. Sure, you can hate me and wish the damnation of my soul but do that after you have read the entire fic. But to tell you the truth, I don't care what you think about me. This has to be said, it needs to be said. Also, I would like to take this opportunity to dedicate this to ShadowMajin. You deserve it man. I've ignored you for far too long. Now for the rest of you, without further ado, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inu Yasha or Gundam Wing.

The Tragedy of Kagome Higarashi

"Damn that Inuyasha!" one Kagome Higarashi shrieked. "How dare he fall in love with another half demon that would love him, accept him, and take care of him better than I ever could?! It should be me he should be in love with! Not that freak!"

For those who are behind, Kagome has just had her fragile heart shattered by her one and only love, the half dog demon Inuyasha. The half demon had met some other half demon a week ago and only just minutes before, he had confessed his love for her.

What did that half-breed have that she didn't? Sure, she abused Inuyasha. Sure she sat him twenty times a day because she had a split end. Sure she bashed his head in with enormous rocks whenever he _thought_ about a naked person. She was _perfect_ damn it! Why couldn't he see that?

No sweat off her back. She'd just go back home and let him try and hunt the jewel shards without her ability to sense them! That'll show him! She'll refuse to come back until he confesses the love she knows he has deep inside of him for her!

Her master plan decided on, she prepared to jump down the well back to her time in self-righteousness.

From the bushes, a certain half demon and fox demon watched her.

"Is she jumping yet?" Inuyasha asked.

"Almost," Shippo hissed. "Wait…wait…NOW!"

The half demon unleashed a Windscar on the well as soon as Kagome disappeared in it. The well was utterly destroyed, not even a scrap of wood left.

"You did it!" cheered Shippo. "Now we won't have to suffer from her tyranny anymore!"

"You got that right," Inuyasha agreed. "Now we'll be able to get more screen time for that fictional show that I know we're apart of but we're not suppose to know about."

The two stood there for a few minutes before Shippo asked, "So what do you want to do now?"

"I don't know."

"How about we threaten Kaede and force her to take that rosary off you then have sex so steamy that yaoi fangirls everywhere will die of nosebleeds?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Shippo exploded into a cloud of smoke, revealing an all-too beautiful older Shippo who immediately snuggled into the half-breed.

"Lets," the older Shippo said as the two headed towards a certain priestess' hut…

---

Now, there wouldn't be a story if that was the end, right? Well, when the well was destroyed, there was a malfunction in the space time continuum, creating a worm hole leading straight to another dimension. In other words, when Kagome got out of a familiar looking well, she was no longer in the Inuyasha universe anymore.

"Where's my house with my supportive family that I'm just going to ditch when I'm rich and famous?" Kagome questioned.

Instead of seeing her regular two-story house, she saw an enormous mansion in its stead. The moment she took a step away from the well, it caved in on itself. Looking at it, she began to bawled, rivers of water shooting out from her eyes, crying out, "How am I going to get back now?"

"Who are you?"

She whipped around, tears disappearing in nanoseconds, to see a tall, uni-banged boy. White pants and a navy blue turtleneck covered his athletic body and Kagome couldn't help but fall in love with him already.

_This is my one true love!_ she thought to herself, hearts replacing her eyes. The boy's emerald eyes…eye looked at her quizzically.

"I do not want to hurt you miss, but please tell me who you are," the boy repeated.

"I'm the person you're going to fall in love with and want to have kids with," Kagome answered, a starry-eyed expression on her face.

"Excuse me?" the boy asked, eye widening.

"We're going to fall in love with each other before the end of this fic. Don't you know that?" Kagome questioned.

"Fic? What are you talking about?" the boy questioned. "Are you feeling all right? Did you hit your head or something?"

"Man, for a crossover character, you sure are dense," Kagome said.

"…"

"Aren't you going to say something?"

"…"

"Aren't you going to confess your undying love for me?"

"…No."

"Okay, well is there anybody else around here to fall in love with me?" Kagome asked, clapping her hands once.

"Hey Trowa! Who the hell are you talking to?"

Kagome snapped her head around and promptly fell in love again.

The object of her affection this time was a smaller brunette dressed in Priest attire with black leather pants and a long braid swishing from side to side with every step he took. Violet eyes eyed her questioningly, glancing at the uni-banged Trowa.

_Long hair is so sexy!_ she thought to herself as she giggled a little, not noticing the strange looks the two males were giving her.

"Is she right up in the head?" the braided male asked.

Trowa shrugged and replied, "Your guess is as good as mine, Duo."

Turning back to look at Kagome, the now-named Duo looked behind her and gasped.

"NOOOO! What did you do to the well?!! I had lots of poon tang there! Ooh, Quatre's gonna be pissed!"

"Really?" Trowa asked, looking interested for the first time. "When was the last time?"

"About thirty minutes ago," Duo answered.

Her eyes widening slightly, Kagome lifted her foot up to see the bottom of her shoes. They were covered with a sticky white liquid that dripped onto the ground. She shrieked like a banshee and threw both of her shoes away. They airborne footwear disappeared into the surrounding foliage, soon followed by a loud "KISAMA! INJUSTICE!"

"Oooooo, now she's done it!" Duo gasped.

An angry Chinaman appeared, a shoe seemingly glued to his head. He wore baggy white pants and a blue tank top, his onyx eyes dark…er than usual with anger. Once again, Kagome fell in love.

_Look at that bod! He's gorgeous!_ she thought.

"Maxwell! Did you do this!" the Chinese youth demanded, pointing at the shoe on his head, his hand tightening around the handle of his katana.

Duo shook his head and pointed at Kagome. "It was all her! She's the one that stepped in my sex juice without looking and threw her shoes away!"

"I should have known a woman was responsible for this," the Chinese snarled, leveling his angry gaze at the time-traveling girl.

"Now Wufei," Trowa soothed, "She didn't know you were there. We think she's mentally deficient."

"I see. Only weaklings and women are mentally deficient," Wufei replied as Trowa put his hand on his back.

Kagome's eyes narrowed. What was that hand doing? It hasn't near Wufei's shoulders! In fact, it was lower…much lower. She would not tolerate this! This was her future husband!

"Hands off buster!" she snarled. "He's my one true love, back off!"

Trowa raised an eyebrow, Wufei looked sick at the thought of being the girl's husband, and Duo was struck speechless…for twenty seconds before howling his amusement.

"Injustice!" Wufei bellowed. "I am not nor ever will be your one true love! Go find someone else!"

"What's going on? I heard shouting," an angelic blond asked, innocent aquamarine eyes taking in the group. He wore a peony dress shirt with a purple vest and khaki slacks. Behind him was another youth; a messy haired, Prussian eyed Japanese who wore black spandex, a green tank top, and God-awful yellow shoes. His face was impassive, not giving away any emotion.

Kagome could only think _Wow! These guys are hot! One of them HAS to fall in love with me!_

"Quatre!" Duo called out. "Look what she did! She wrecked the well!"

Those angelic blue eyes transformed into murderous ones as the blond looked at Kagome. "She…did…WHAT?"

"It wasn't my fault!" Kagome defended. "It was all Inuyasha's fault!"

The bloodthirsty look in the blond's face changed to one of confusion. "Who?"

The Japanese then spoke in a monotone, "A female dog destroyed that centuries old well?"

Kagome couldn't help but fall in love with this Japanese. They were perfect! She knew that she was the only one in the fanfiction universe that could thaw this potential husband's icy heart. She's done it before with one Lord Sesshomaru in countless other fics. Why should he be any different? She was Kagome Higarashi! No one was immune to her charms and beauty! NO ONE!

"Um…why are you looking at Heero like that?" Duo asked.

"You really don't know a lot about crossovers, do you?" Kagome asked, speaking to Duo as if he was a simpleton.

The pilots looked at each other with confused looks before Quatre asked the crazy girl, "What are you talking about?"

"Let me explain this in a way that even you can understand," Kagome began, speaking as if the pilots were children. "I am the one and only Kagome Higarashi, the most popular anime, manga, and fanfiction character in existence. In crossover fics, a character from another show falls in love with me, replacing that stupid Inuyasha who has unjustly broken my heart."

The pilots looked at each other again before Heero asked the one question on their minds. "Can I kill her now?"

"No! Don't kill me!" Kagome wailed. "I can't die! Not this early into the fic and especially if I am not immortal! Please don't kill me!"

"At least she's not as bad as Relena," Duo said in response to the outburst.

"And who is Relena?" Kagome asked, flames erupting in the background, jealousy already coursing through her body even though she had yet to meet this Relena.

"She's a dimwitted woman who stalks Yuy, begging him to kill her," Wufei answered. "She has some way of always managing to find him, no matter where he hides."

"Well then, you'll be glad to know I would never do such a thing like that," Kagome replied smugly.

"More than you know," Duo muttered, causing the other pilots to stifle their amusement.

"So, if whoever Yuy is falls in love with me, I will keep Relena away forever!" Kagome boasted, thinking she had thought up of a perfect way to find her one true love.

None of the pilots stepped forward, each wary of this crazy woman. Heero was grinding his teeth as he thought up of all the tortures he could inflict on this idiot. He would kill Relena…someday. He didn't need _her_ help in getting rid of the stupid woman.

Put off, but not discouraged, Kagome decided to try a different approach. She turned to Duo first and put on a charming smile. "How about you and I go out later tonight and discover your secret feelings for me?"

"Uh," was Duo brilliant reply. "I…can't."

"Why not?" Kagome pressed.

"I'm involved with somebody already."

"Forget about her," Kagome said as she made her way over to the braided pilot. "I'm all you'll ever need."

"Eh…no."

"And why not?" Kagome asked, beginning to get frustrated at this guy's stupidity. He'd have to be a moron to pass her up!"

That was when the angelic Quatre intervened, as his arm wrapped around Duo's waist possessively. "Because he's _mine_, bitch!" the blond snarled. "Go get your own." To prove his claim, he attacked the braided one with an aggressive kiss, one which Duo responded to.

Okay…so they were queer. No problem, there were three other guys left. They had to fall in love with her! Otherwise, this story didn't deserve to exist in fanfiction!

She turned her sights to Trowa and Wufei, trying to decide who to go after next. To her surprise, Trowa wrapped an arm around the Chinese's shoulder and pulled him close.

"Don't even think about it," Trowa warned, emerald eyes flashing dangerously.

"I despise weak woman," was Wufei's answer. "Especially mentally deficient ones such as yourself." With that, the couple started their own make-out session.

Okay, that was four now that were unavailable. That meant there was only one left. She knew this was it. There was no way that Heero could resist her! Before she could even plan her seduction of the Japanese, a few simple words crushed all her hopes.

"I'm a eunuch," Heero stated.

The other pilots stared at him incredulously, ceasing their activities.

"Well…that explains a lot," Duo said, breaking the silence.

"Heero? How did…that happen?" Trowa asked, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"I was born that way," Heero answered. "Dr. J just injected an enormous amount of testosterone during my training so that I could still do the things I can do today."

"So sorry," Duo said, giving the Japanese a sympathetic look.

"As if that matters!" Kagome interjected. "With me around, I'll get your balls working like they were brand new!"

"If anybody can do that, it'll be Quatre!" Duo declared. "No one can be as dominate as he can be! No one knows how to tie the knots just right without being too uncomfortable or too loose. No one can do that thing with his tong—"

"Shut up!" Kagome screeched.

"Let him speak!" Quatre defended before looking back at Duo indulgently. "So what else am I good at?"

"Well, there's was that time when you handcuffed me to the bed and took that dildo and—"

"I'm not listening to this!" Kagome shouted, covering her ears.

"HEEEEERRROOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

"Huh? What's that?" Kagome asked.

"Damn it! How the hell did she find us this time?!" Duo swore.

"How far away is she?" Heero demanded, fear showing itself on his face for the first time.

"It sounds as if she was…" Wufei began and paused. "…right in front of the house…"

"HHHEEEERRRROOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" the call rang out, this time, just twenty feet away.

"Damn it, do you have to be so loud?!" Duo snarled as he held his ears, Quatre petting him tenderly.

Relena simply ignored him as she glomped Heero, promptly squeezing the breath out of him. "Oh Heero! I knew I'd find you again! Now we can be together forever and you can kill me whenever you want and—"

She was cut off as Kagome grabbed her and threw her off, taking her place in glomping Hero as the princess sprawled on the ground. "He's mine! Back off!" she declared.

"Can't…breathe…need…air…" Heero gagged.

However, it was Relena to the rescue as she ripped the school girl off the Gundam pilot and slammed her body into the ground.

"There's no way I'm letting a bimbo from another show take my Heero!" Relena snarled.

"You know this is a crossover?" Kagome asked, recovering.

"Of course. You do not belong here," Relena stated.

"I'll show you!" Kagome screamed as she pulled out a bow and arrow from nowhere and shot a sacred arrow at Relena. Kagome smirked as the purifying arrow flew towards the pink princess that it was over and her competition was through. To her astonishment, the arrow bounced harmlessly off Relena, doing no damage whatsoever.

"But how…?" Kagome gasped.

"Don't you know?" Relena taunted. "This is the Gundam Wing Universe. Special powers, techniques, and skills from other universes do not work here, including that nonsense in the G Gundam show. That means no sacred arrow, no Windscar, no Kamehameha, no alchemy…

_46 minutes later_

"…no shadow magic, no Sailor Moon bullcrap, I think you get the point. Plus, I am the purest person around here. No arrow with the magically ability to purify is going to hurt me. It is useless and futile. Besides, only Heero can kill me. He told me he would in thelast twenty seconds of the first episode of Gundam Wing."

Kagome could only stare, flabbergasted. The pilots were too busy trying to keep their laughter from bursting out at Relena's declaration.

"Now, I'm a pacifist at heart," Relena continued, "but no one, I repeat NO ONE, claims MY Heero!"

With that, the pink princess launched herself at Kagome, landing a right hook in the jaw. Kagome fell to the ground and Relena body slammed her, the brawl between the two females beginning.

As for the pilots, they had taken chairs out from nowhere and Duo was passing popcorn to the others.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" they chanted, enjoying every minute of this.

"Look at them go! This is better than live television!"

"Oh my God! Did she just rip some of Relena's hair out?"

"I bet top tonight that Relena wins. There is no way in hell a mentally deficient woman can win."

"You're on."

"Holy crap! She just punched out that girl's teeth!"

"Can't get any better than this."

---

"Inuyasha? Do you know where Kagome is? I can't seem to find her any…"

Those were the words Miroku was speaking as he peeked into Kaede's hut only to stop at the sight before him.

"We…got…rid of her," Inuyasha panted as he continued his energy zapping activity.

"You mean you actually did it?" Miroku gasped.

"Yeah," Shippo answered before letting out a moan. "I pretended to be a half-breed so that Inuyasha could use it as an excuse to break up with her. Oh God, yes! Right there!"

"But how are we going to find the jewel shards now?" Miroku questioned.

"I fell in the well by accident once," Shippo began explaining before he let out another shout, "Again! Harder!"

"And?"

"I ended up…in this strange place…faster…where I met this blue-haired girl. She had this radar thing…harder Inuyasha!...that she used to track down these things call Dragonballs. I got her…to get it to work…oh God…so that…it could find…the jewel shards. She got mad when I took it…and this man with spiky hair almost blew me up before…I got back down the well."

"How long have you had this…radar thing?"

"A couple weeks. Why?"

"No reason," Miroku said. "Now is the time for celebration. Excuse me while I go find Lady Sango…"

"Always remember, two in the pink, one in the stink," Inuyasha advised.

"So that's how it goes," Miroku said as he left the two demons to their activities.

---

To make a long…sexually arousing catfight short, Relena won, fair and square.

"I have to go make this speech for pacifism," she explained as she dusted herself off, looking as if she had not just gotten into a catfight. "I hope you'll still be here when I get back Heero. We have so much to catch up on!"

With a curtsy, she skipped away to her pink limo.

"Are you guys ready to evacuate?" Heero asked as soon as the pink vehicle drove off.

"Aren't we always?" Trowa asked.

"Where are we going?"

The five pilots looked up at the busted up Kagome. Her hair was in disarray, her school uniform torn, blood leaking out of various wounds, and some teeth were missing. And yet she smiled as sexily as she could.

The horror.

"We are running for our lives before Relena blows our cover," Heero stated. "You are not coming with us. We don't like you. Go away."

"But how can you resist this?" Kagome demanded as she tore open the front of her uniform, revealing enormous breasts that cast a golden light on the pilots, "hallelujah" been sung from nowhere.

Duo yawned. Quatre groped him. Wufei examined his sword. Trowa put his arm around him. Heero blinked.

"You can't be serious," Kagome asked, stunned, golden light dieing out. Opening the torn hole in her uniform wider, more of her breasts were shown, the golden light returning ten-fold, "hallelujah" sounding louder than ever.

Duo yawned and fell back into Quatre's arms. Quatre groped him, one of his hands massaging a strange bulge at Duo's groin. Wufei tested the sharpness of his sword, pleased to see the spurt of blood shooting out of his hand. Trowa bandaged the injured hand with a supply of medical junk that he carried on his person for no reason whatsoever. Heero took out his gun and started to clean it despite the fact that it was shinier than the light coming out from Kagome's cleavage.

"I can't believe this," Kagome spoke. "This is impossible! No one can resist me! NO ONE!"

"Have you looked in a mirror lately?" Trowa asked.

"FREAKS!" the girl screamed. "YOU'RE FREAKS! ALL OF YOU, FREAKS!"

"Hey, there's no need to be name calling," Quatre scolded as Duo let out a loud moan, crying out "oh dear God!"

"I'll call you what I want!" Kagome shouted. "You're not natural! No one can not not fall in love with me! It defies the rules and laws of fanfiction! I am a Goddess! I am all powerful! And you are all dickless bastards!"

That was the last straw. Now the pilots could endure a lot of punishment. They could even accept the facts they were bastards, you know, fatherless children. But calling them dickless? They had dicks! Just, one of them didn't have balls. That was okay. There was an operation to fix that. No, the bitch had to pay.

Each took out a gun and leveled them at her.

Kagome's eyes widened. "You wouldn't hurt me! You can't!"

"Omae o koruso," they all said at the same time before letting loose a barrage of bullets into the girl's body. An unbelievable amount of bullets shot through the air and ripped into the girl's body. Then one at a time, when enough bullets had penetrated, a piece of Kagome exploded in an explosion of flesh and blood. When the boys ceased fire, there was nothing left but a pile of bloody mush that had once been Kagome Higarashi.

"Only weaklings die like that," Wufei stated.

"Okay, it's only a matter of time before Oz knows we're here," Heero announced as he hid his gun somehow, somewhere on his spandex person. "Worse, Relena knows we're here. Ten minutes to pack up and get the hell out of here. You can have sex when we get to the new safehouse. Don't get started now."

"You're no fun," Duo and Quatre pouted.

"Injustice," both Wufei and Trowa said in response.

"Hey, if I have to suffer, I going to make you all suffer with me," Heero replied, showing a maniacal grin.

---

The Inuyasha group eventually gathered all the jewel shards and defeated Naraku. Miroku and Sango would later marry and create a village-worth of offspring, thus creating more potential perverts, start the overpopulation problem, and spread STDs to all parts of the globe. Inuyasha and Shippo…best not to talk about them…right now at least.

The Gundam pilots eventually won the war, defeating Oz and White Fang in a final battle.

Afterwards, Quatre got more into the whole BDSM thing and Duo was a more than willing participant. Trowa and Wufei scoured the world, killing off any and all females that bore even a semblance to the once annoying Kagome Higarashi. Heero, sadly, has not yet killed Relena, not from a lack trying mind you.

Relena still stalks Heero to this day, never revealing that she planted a tracing device in his left foot and monitors him from a satellite 24/7.

And as for Kagome Higarashi…she'll be back.

She ALWAYS comes back!


End file.
